I'm starting to know myself

Fine..so before this I always have a certain expectation of myself. For example when I watched people dancing in TV or doing aerobic or whatsoever, I always think that I can easily do it too.
But lately I was proven wrong. After joining a few classes in gym, I realised that I'm such a terrible dancer, I have the worst hand-eye-leg coordination ever and I can't run, I easily get tired and bla bla bla.
There are just a lot of thing that I'm starting to learn about myself. Basically the image that I have for myself is really different from the real me.
It's kinda sad but I guess it's better to find out about it now than never..

The Biggest LOSERS..

Watching the biggest loser makes me really feel like a LOSER (as in loser). It's not that I dun wanna lose weight, it's just that I love to eat VERY MUCH..

Right now I'm in the process of trying to be a loser (in my weight). We're starting THE BIGGEST LOSER program among ourselves. Right now we only have 3 participants but I think the number will grow very soon. Who knows being a loser requires a lot of hard work and sacrifices. I hate sacrifices the most. I hate to sacrifices my fav food, drinks, my sleep n everything. Hard works also kill me. Everyday I ended up with back pain n muscle pain all over the body. Thanks to all the work-outs.
Gosh FAT please go away as fast as u can.. I dun think I can stand this torture any longer!!
HELP..

I Hurt My Back!!

Gosh..earlier this morning when I woke up I felt like screaming. I couldn't sit straight. My back was hurting me (in fact it still hurts now). At first I thought it maybe because I positioned myself wrongly when I sleep last nite. But then I remembered something.
AHA!! THE GYM.. it must be it..
I realised that the pain was actually caused by my visit to MQ gym for the first time yesterday. I was exercising after like years of resting and I think I've hurt some of my muscles or maybe my body still not use to it. All I know is that I'm still suffering because of that one visit.
Gosh why do I have to be so fat that I have to diet and now I think that I have to exercise.. Geez!!

THE GIRL IN THE MIRROR; is it me?

I AM WHO I AM..

Well, that's just crap.
Have you ever wake up one morning and look in the mirror and see a complete stranger staring back at you. You couldn't recognise the face, the eyes, the lips, the body and maybe scar you got when you were little. Lately, I've been feeling weird about myself. I just couldn't recognise myself. Not to say I have an amnesia or anything of that sort. I just felt that way. I even realise that I couldn't recognise my own voice. It's really is weird. All these time I thought I know myself better than anyone else. But the truth is, I think people know me better than I am. I can't never describe myself. But I'm sure my friends and family can describe who I am (HOPEFULLY).

Now I realise, if we really want to understand world or other people, it is better for us to understand ourselves first or at least get to know oneself before really exploring what's out there.

Can mood really affect your dream?

I'm really sure about this. Again as usual I am assuming. But I kinda think that to a certain extent your mood before you go to bed really affect your dream. Well at least for me.

Last night I was not really in my bestest mood or in an easy word I was in my most horrible bad mood when I went to sleep. And yeah I had a nightmare. Imagine my hometown was attacked by a group of bad people who freely burned and killed every single person they saw. So I was running and hiding with my friends and family. I even witnessed some of my family members died along the way, but couldn't weep or do anything since I had to continue running. The bad people were so cruel that they continued to chase us who were still alive. I remembered buring my body in the sand and hid my head under the water. It was tragic but it was so scary. Hiding and running in order to continue living. It felt like forever. But thankfully for some reasons that horrible nightmare ended with a happy ending. The bad guys finally disappered. My family members who died earlier were actually alive and people were smiling again.

When I woke up this morning (more like this evening) I was a bit scared and relieved at the same time. Next time I'll make sure I'm not in a bad mood before I go to bed. There is no way I want to have such a horrifying dream again. For some reasons, usually when I smile myself to sleep I would have fun dream, weird but fun and I enjoyed to be in such a dream. So tonight I''l make sure I'll smile or happy before I go to bed.