Monday, November 05, 2007

It's ALL ABOUT DBSK2 !!!!!!!

Kyaaaaaaaaaa~~~~

^______________^ <-- that's me smiling ear to ear....

My AADBSK2 is finally here...Yup in my hand...in my room..My JAEJOONG is finally here (a total fangirls mood)...

[2 sets?? Yup one 4 me..n one 4 wanee..hahaha]

[Sheep Jaejoong with Kim Jaejoong?? My set]

[Something extra...I really want this blankie!!!!]

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Can assignment kill??



dunno...

Gosh....edit this post a few times...blame it on the pic above..it just won't come out..so much for wasting my precious time which i should be wasting on reading journal...[frustrated!!!]

p.s: Joongie fell off stage???.........ANDWAE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Hari Raya??


thanx to my mom for making such an extravagant dress for me to celebrate hari raya this year...
tho it makes me look like i'm having an engagment rather than celebrating hari raya...(owh sungguh perasan diriku)..this is what happened when I'm just so very bored...

Bored~~

SERIOUSLY BORED...

Got assignments to do but the mood is not here yet...

So basically, I have nothing to do...
Even if I have things to do...I'm just to lazy to do any of it...
Could it be because of the weather...I dunno...

All I know is that, I just want to lie on my bed and close my eyes tightly...

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

First Time...

KYA!!!!!!!!!!!!
FINALLY!!

After 22 years n plus plus...
For the first time ever

-I-L-O-S-T-M-Y-V-O-I-C-E-
Yup..I'm kinda enjoying it even tho I have my micro teaching this friday n I really need my voice for that..
But Hey..that's like what?? 2 more days?? 1 day??
Let's not think about that n just treasure this moment..

(the way i'm putting this as if losing my voice is like the best thing ever..hahaha)
Yeah so I'm enjoying speaking to myself n screaming with this so-called no voice..haha
But there's just one problem..
seems like a big prob tho...

I CAN'T SING!!

My voice won't come out..
Even if it does come out, it can't follow any tune..
"SUMBANG TAHAP GILE PUNYA SUMBANG!!"
aaarrghh...
Frustrated..
Now I'm in a dillemma..
I dunno whether I shud take any medicine for this sore throat or not..
I'm kinda enjoying talking with no voice..
But then I also enjoy singing when I'm doing my work..(tho i know my voice is not the best ever..but still..at least I can follow the tune n music n I can hear my voice when I'm singing high pitch..
Since last nite my voice cracked n won't come out when I'm singing...
Gosh I must be like the silliest person ever...
When I shud be worrying about my xment (which I need to hand in tomorrow) n my microteaching (which is the day after tomorrow), here I am worring about my cracked voice when singing..
hahahaha

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Me..in fasting month..

JaeJoong sick??
Nah....I'm the one who's sick..
Weirdly, in this past few months I keep on getting all kinda health problems..
Like rite now, I think I have a flu..(imagine having a flu while fasting and doign assignment!!)
But still, I can't complain..
And this is how my study table looks like at the moment. Well, maybe not this clean since I've removed and arranged the stuff a bit for the purpose of this pic (dun wanna scare people!!)
Anyway with the assignment n the flu, I'm certainly not in the mood of cleaning!!
Oh n finally, I took this pic when I couldn't sleep after sahur..
nice huh..


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

-MISTAKE-

Surely one scary word...
I've made some, U've made some, everyone made some...
and I'm pretty sure we're going to continue making them...(hopefully not)

Well, I have done something in the past that I'm pretty sure that if I ever had a chance to go back to that time, I'll try my best to NOT make that mistake...it's something that u have to carry for the rest of ur life...(gosh, sounds like I'm making such a BIG, TERRIBLE MISTAKE...huh)
But that's not my point...
The point is that...
Why would people want to do it??
I've try my best (my hardest) to erase that mistake...But others simply came smiling to me and said they made the same mistake as I am...
Why are they smiling???
That's not something that you should be proud of!!
Stop smiling...You look silly...


[The kinda things I write when I've gone HEAD-WIRED because of the assignments]

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

nu season = nu idol

kyaaaa~~~
Here Comes
MATT CORBY

huhu.. shining star of Australian Idol this season..YAY

That's all...

[Seriously need to write my assignment..can't write much here]

Monday, September 10, 2007

Dropping By...

Ouch!!! (while rubbing my forehead...so what if i landed with my head first...)
As expected, dropping is kinda hurt..
and as always, I will have time to write an entry n not my assignment (which I supposedly start with since last nite...but I didn't!!)

Speaking of assignment...
So last nite after 3 hours of tv (ATP n Aus Idol of course!!) I was supposed to (notice the selection of verb) to do some reading on my assignment..BUT, GUESS WHAT??...Yup..I was on my way to make myself a cup of coffee, and I was very closed to opening my bedroom door, but then I pulled back my hand and shook my head..'too early' I tot even tho it was already close to 12 midnite...then I glanced at my bed 'comfy!!' I tot with a smirk on my face...I shook my head again 'NOT NOW!!' I warned myself...but then there was this little voice whispering inside of my head 'hey..laying for a bit wouldn't hurt'..and yeah I fell for that one...I lie on my bed and covered myself with my thin blanky...then...UNINTENTIONALLY (notice the selection of word again) I went to the other world...and when I opened my eyes n glanced at the clock (rite next to my bed)...my small eyes widened when I came to decode the symbol..03:57..
Without thinking any further (well maybe I did a bit of thinking...thinking of how I regret wasting my chance to sleep like that..If I knew I was going to sleep, I would've made myself more comfy like getting under the quilt with the lite switched off...now that's what I call a GOOD NITE SLEEP...but lucky for me I spent my precious time with sleeping uncomfortably with the lite on...wait a sec..maybe I did sleep comfortably considering I didn't hv any dream...but that's not the prob here...)...The problem here is that I slept when I should be doing my assignment..HUH...

When I said UNINTENTIONALLY!! is it really that..or maybe it was INTENTIONALLY...maybe there was part of me that wanting to get me to sleep...if not why in the world would I cover myself with blanky??...n why would I close my eyes when I just wanted to lie.???..HUH..so many questions...but there is just ONE answer to them all...

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME...THIS ISN'T TIME TO THINK ABOUT ALL THOSE SILLY STUFF OR EVEN WRITING AN ENTRY...I SHOULD GET ON WITH MY READING N START WRITING....4000 WORDS...AND RIGHT NOW I'M WAY FAR FROM THAT..OR SHOULD I SAY I'M STILL AT 0 WORDS...KNOWING ALL THAT BUT HERE I AM STILL CONTINUE WRITING THIS...I MUST BE THE SILLIEST PERSON ON EARTH..."
[Hannah..Hwaiting!!!!]

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

A rare CELESTIAL EVENT..

Sometimes there are things that can really make people overwhelmed with amazement..Such as this...
[Blood Red Moon Total Eclipse]
[Lunar Eclipse August 28, 2007, Sydney]

[Venue: Outside Unit 38]

Me, Jaime, Tasha, Wanee n Fatin were just standing outside the house and looked up (to the moon that is) for quite sometimes...all were wearing hoodie...talking bout enjoying the wonder of the world...

Getting to Know Me...

Suddenly I feel like doing this....
(tagged by tasha...i guess so...)

My earliest memory is to play in the mud n jump into the river at my grandparents' house...

At school, I was a good student (at least to the teachers...n not my friends).

My first relationship didn't last long (it didn't even feel like I was in a relationship).

I don’t like talking about academic stuff or maybe general knowledge (you know like news n stuff..i'm just not good at those stuff..)

My most treasured possessions are my laptop, my external harddisk, My chubby JAEJOONG..n all my belongings...

My parents always told me not to marry someone from 'semenanjung'...(dun take this wrongly...my mum just don't like the idea of having her daughter stay across the sea from her...oh n also there could also be a communication barrier...hahaha n so it seems)

My most humiliating moment was when someone told me that my fly is undone...hahaha..oh gosh there are just lots more...but I dun think it'll be wise of me to write them here..

My happiest moment was during Hari Raya 2003

Friends say I am NOT THAT SHY (TAK PEMALU!!! just because I always insist that I'm PEMALU...Seriously people, I AM PEMALU...)

At home I cook I feel like it....(mood is everything when it comes to cooking...ah-ha)

My last meal would be Regular Bondi Meal (yup..oporto...a sudden decision...)oh wait n a banana...

My favourite gadget is I dunno...do you consider laptop a gadget???

I’m very bad at memorising things n stuff...especially numbers...so please forgive me if I forgot anyone's birthday..it' seriously hard for me to remember those many numbers...

When I was a child I never knew how to take care of myself...Like I only combed the front side of my hair cos I couldn't see the back side of my head...haha n my sister used to drag me to the shower n bath me...

The books that changed my life are HUH??? can books really change people lives??? never really thought about such a thing...

It’s not fashionable but I love to collect stuff for the sake of memories....like train tickets n stuff..but then after awhile I just threw them away..

If only I could be at home right now n play with my nephews n nieces...oh wait..I want to turn back time too...

My greatest fear is to lose myself...

I’m always asked about what I'm doing at the moment...at least that's the first question I hear when I'm chatting (ym) or on the phone.

If I wasn’t me, I’d like to be ...gosh never really thought about it...I'm just comfortable with the way I am...well at least that's how I feel at the mo...

At the moment, I’m watching myself in the mirror....don't be silly..I'm writing this entry so how am I supposed to be watching anything...

My worst job was to babysit my nephews n niece...(nah just kidding..kinda enjoy taking care of them..ok maybe not when they disturb me n fight over a tv channel with me...)

I often wonder how will I be in the future...am I still going to be ME...(FUTURE IS SCARY)

Yay...done...never thought answering those questions will be such a hardwork..

Monday, August 27, 2007

Five~~

I've been tagged...gosh...
so here it is..

5 things found in my bag
- purse...
- keys...
- lipstick...
- compact powder...
- trash...(sounds weird but most of the time i'm too lazy to find a trash can..so they'll be in my bag for quite sometime)

5 things found in my wallet
- money (mostly coins...)
- lots n lots of card...
- atm transaction slips (i like to keep them even tho i never really look at them...just a weird habit)
- photos...
- my lucky charm...(huurrmmm...something that i've kept since i started college..it's not really lucky charm..but i just dunno what it's called...so let's just assume it's a lucky charm)

5 favorite things in my room
- my laptop (i'll die without it..talking bout EXAGGERATION!!!)
- my external hard disk (tho i rarely connect it to my laptop...)
- my mirror...(those full length mirrors)
- my bed...really need it since i like to sleep most)
- my family's pic (copy n paste from Pari's list..hehehe)

5 things i’ve always wanted to do
- GO TO KOREA N MEET JAEJOONG!!!!!!!!!!(owh..me n my silly dream)
- to 'belasah' someone...hehe (just want to know how it feels like...gosh...talking nout media influence)
- turn back time...(to change something that I regret the most...shhh...)
- hug n sleep by my mom's side...(OH I MISS U MOM...)
- sleep for 24 hours straight!!!!(wonder how that feel like??)

5 things i'm currently into
- KIM YOUNG WOONG JAE JOONG!!!!!
- sleeping...
- surfing net (typical me)
- downloading anything n everything...(yet another weird habit of mine...)
- eating!!!(the more I want to lose weight..the more I eat...)

5 people i want to tag...
Like seriously!!! I dun have any...everyone that i know have been tagged!!

So basically that's just me leading a simple n boring life...nothing interesting to share..
But dun worry..tomorrow i'll hv another entry (tagged by tasha...)...

credit to soompi..or as tagged..not really sure

wuhuuuuuu

YEAH!!

I SAW ABANG TONGKAT TODAY <333>

THE SECOND TIME THIS SEM...hehe

ps, saw him in MC that is..
Credit as tagged

Thursday, August 23, 2007

when girls start to act like girls

Wow..amazing (shocking more like it)..can't believe I'm writing 2 entries in a day..WOW...what's got into me!! hrmm must be the food that I ate today...
Gosh...What have I done today??
I was supposed to go early to the uni n print some work, to find some books at the library before going to Dan's lecture n Jenny's class..But guess SOMETIMES WE CAN JUST PLAN THINGS..I mean it..MY PLANS TOTALLY WENT HEAD-WIRE TODAY...
It's all started when I ym Jaime to tell her that I'm leaving early for the uni..but then BAM!!!
The next thing I knew we were at MC...roaming around like free people...(nothing to do n nowhere to go)...Basically we were doing things that we shouldn't be doing there...(not horrible stuff okay...)..

So..who's to blame here?? Is it Jaime's fault?? or is it mine?? (well actually we were saying that..I wasn't determined enough...hehe "tak kukuh"..hahaha....

But at least we were having fun even tho there was a slight feeling of gulit (not because we skipped classes or anything..but more to because we ate too much of sweet stuff..imagine mars choc muffin each n mint choc bom for a drink...Not that's something we REALLY should feel guilty about..hahaha)

[Aaargghh...Ryu Nishikido!!! <3]

The Feeling of NOT feeling anything..

Gosh I just hate this feeling...

This kinda feeling only makes me want to curl up in my be hid myself under the blanket with my eyes closed (a simpler word for that would be SLEEPING)..But how can I ever do that (Ok I do that every nite..but that's not what I mean)..I am supposed to start with my tw assignments (HELLO!)..Gosh I haven't even think about any of them...I haven't even looked for any resources (What's really got into me lately..Is it just me or am I really extra lazy these days?? or is it just me being ME??..hhrrrmmm weird..just weird)...

Seriously..I really wanted to start with the assignments (Look, I'm being honest here ok...not joking or anything of that sort..)..but somehow the feeling is just not right..When ever I tried to have a look at the questions, I ended up getting bored n BLANK all of a sudden..Then the next thing I knew I was lying on the bed with a novel..hehehehe (The return of my weird hobby..READING!!)..So to conclude all these..I haven't started my assignments which I should have started to work on since a few days ago...

IT REALLY IS BAD FOR ME TO BE ME..cos in the end I'll end up doing nothing except gathering some wools...huh..

Oh yeah..Lately I've noticed that I have these weird black marks at the corner of my lips (both sides I mean)..Anyone knows what it could be??? They look rather weird..
Not knowing why they are suddenly there, I come to a conclusion that they might be there because I don't smile a lot lately (I don't smile enough)...hehe sounds weird..but it's just me n my theory..gosh I've always have a theory for every single things that happen to me..
Like when I had itchy skin (some sort of illness that I often had when I was a kid..yup my skin was swelling..weirdly I often get it on saturday) the other day..I thought it was because my whole body was hot (warm!! not that other HOT!!)..n that I didn't take enough cooling food..so I've avoided eating or drinking anything hot n warm for a few days n I even took cold shower (just me n my theory)...but then my mom told me that I've got it all WRONG...It's the illness that cause my body to get warm not the food or anything else..she even told me to take warm water for a shower to kill the bacteria..haha guess sometimes we can make wrong conclusion!!

huhu..can't believe I spend lots of time writing this rather than thinking (literally) about my assignments...

ps, ANYONE WHO HAPPENS TO SEE OR COME ACROSS MY 'ASSIGNMENT MOOD' PLEASE BE KIND ENOUGH SO AS TO INFORM ME...THANK YOU..


CALLING FOR MY 'ASSIGNMENT MOOD'..PLEASE RETURN TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE...

Friday, August 17, 2007

oh..oh..oh...my life as a student-teacher

and so..I went to Fairfield High School for school observation with Wanee, Fariza, Fatin n Sarah..

It is such a nice school..reminds me a lot of my school (well maybe not the students background..I mean you couldn't possibly find any Iraqi refugees in Papar, right??..what I mean is the discipline problems n their behaviour)..

But anyway..It was such a new and refreshing experience and totally different from James Ruse Agricultural High School (I mean like TOTALLY different..) Believe it or not..I think I got a bit of culture shock when I walked around the school..but since I find it quite similar to my school (and so I thought..this actually from my point of view and it is not necessarily true..I just like to exaggarate things OK..) I can easily adapt to the school (well probably it's mostly because of Marco...hahahahaha silly me)..
[Geez...I look tanned]
Oh this is one of the best part of going to that school..IEC classroom..hehe finally we got to teach those students..It was such a wonderful experience..I mean they're already 13-15 year of age but some of them still have difficulties to reognise alphabet n stufff..one of the girl has troubled to recognised the letter 'Y'..It really feels great to actually teach them something...(what am I kidding here..this sounds terribly weird especially when it's coming from me...hukhuk)..

Better stop..I have to stop..
Anyway can't wait to go to the other two schools...
[Gosh..I'm such a pervert!!!drool..drool]

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

When LEAST expected..

Like..
FINALLY!!!!!!!!

Hahaha after months of ...(dunno wat to say actually...) finally I got to see 'abang tongkat' again..
I was on my way to educ 343 tutat e5a.309, not to mention ALL ALONE!! when I saw him...
As usual, a smile crept upon my face, but then it suddenly hit me, 'SHOOT, I COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE SMILING...I'M ALONE, I'LL LOOK LIKE A CRAZY PERSON'...So basically, I tried to refrain myself from smiling and from looking at his way...'CAN'T LOOK!! CAN'T LOOK!!' I kept repeating in my head as I tried not to smile...In the end we walked past each other without me looking at him or even glancing at him...
As I continued walking, I sighed, 'WHAT A WASTE' I mumbled to myself...
With those mixed feeling I entered my tut (kinda boring..durra would agree with me)...


Currently Watching: Coffee Prince - Why Why Love - My Lucky Star - Hana Kimi - Cloud Stairway
p.s: I watched all Ryo Nishikido's drama in one go....(Ganbatte ikkimashio-Attention Please-1 Liter Tears)...huhuhu yet I refuse to finish Cloud Stairway (so boring)..

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Who do u prefer??

On one hand, you have someone who waits for you in the rain with an umbrella. He continues to wait for you hour after hour because he's afraid that you forget to bring your own umbrella. He continues to wait even though he is soaked..
On the other hand, you have someone who walks you to the class every morning. He can make your heart flutter just by flashing a simple smile. He can make you smile the whole day thinking about him..
When you come across such situation what would you do?? Who will you choose?
p/s: Hrmm.. Dun ask me..How am I supposed to know?


Currently watching: Cloud Stairway - Hana Kimi (jd) - My Lucky Star - Coffee Prince - Why Why Love

Sunday, July 08, 2007

The Bored Me...

ASSA...
Finally I'm done with Hana Kimi n Bad Family..

[Hana Kimi]

Interesting series..
Tho I'm quite worn out for the past few days (went out around sydney that is)..still I was managed to finish those two series..
Hahahaha...well that's just me!!


[Bad Family's Ha Tae Kyung]

[Hana Kimi's Senior Nan]

I was plannig to upload some of my pic..but due to some obvious prob with my internet (I've been speed-limited okay!!) I can't seem to upload my own pic..hrmm..
Currently watching: My Lucky Star - Why Why Love - Hana Kimi (jdorama) - Sad Sonata

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

and so..my life continues...

Latest update on MY DRAMA MARATHON FOR BREAK

I've already finished watching another 2 dramas.. 'SNOWFLOWER' kdrama n 'LONG LOVE LETTER' jdrama..
I have to say that snowflower is one of the most boring kdrama I've ever since..If it wasn't for Kibum, there's nowhere on earth me n Wanee will be able to finish watching the drama..It was a few days of torture..
On the other hand, I've finished watching long love letter by myself in less than 2 days..quite interesting n addictive drama (at least for me since Wanee has a different view).I'm just a bit disappointed with the ending..(mati mood btol)..very least expected n not interesting ending..

oh yeah.. Fly To The Sky 7th album 'NO LIMITATIONS' is out..I'm kinda busy right now..haha searching for their performances n appearance in variety shows n all..haha

Currently watching: Hana Kimi - Lucky Star - Why Why Love - Bad Family

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The Return of The Old Me..

Break, Break, Break n Break...
It's been a couple of weeks since I'm free from the academic torture..
It's kinda a GOOD thing if you look at it in a certain way..
But it also means a chance for me to be the REAL HANNAH..
no more hiding behind the academic!!!

Break means I can..
  • Sleep for 12 hours (like I usually do..except when I had to go to class..but I kinda like to wake up early in the morning..but I'm just way TOO LAZY..there's nothing I can do about it..Besides, it's better to let me have enough sleep n not try to disturb me or wake me up cos it will only bring you no good..I'm sure you wouldn't want to see me in a bad mood or angry for no reason..yup I can be in a real bad mood if people disturb me in my sleep..even my mom wouldn't dare to wake me up..hihi)

  • Face my laptop for 24 hours..(n wanee's laptop too)..ok maybe not 24 hours since I also spend most of my time sleeping..basically I spend most of my time awake facing laptop (now that sound more like it..)..okay there are just a lot of thing in my laptop..

  • Continue with my addiction to download things (whatever it is)..this is a really scary thing..Lately I just like to download everything...(ok maybe not that many..I really have to control myself from downloading things..or else I will be speed-limited which is really s****.)..It's really hard to control myself and to not download anythings...oh yeah..not to mention I've already downloaded tonnes of things which I haven't watched or listened to...hahahaha..what a weird new hobby (oh wait..it's supposed to be an addiction)..

  • What else..eating..yup..I eat quite a lot lately..from the moment I open my eyes in the morning..till late at nite..It just doesn't feel right to not chew anything when my eyes are wide open..(what a weird way to put it)..

  • enough already..no more..I'm making myself sound like a freak..or a weird person..this is so not right..

Gosh..I really love to write more..but I'm just so very sleepy right now...guess I should just go to bed now..fuh...


[Kim Ki Bum]

Currently Watching: Snow Flower - Handsome Siblings - My Lucky Star - Proposal Daisakusen

Saturday, June 16, 2007

'ending' Is it really that SAD??

It's so early in the morning (nearing dawn I guess), but here I am..writing yet another entry despite hiding under my quilt..The rain is quite heavy outside..I dun think I'll be able to sleep soundly with the sound of the raindrops..so rather than forcing myself to sleep and have swollen eyes when I wake up..I guess I've made a brilliant decision to stay awake until now..At least I've managed to finish three eps of One Tree Hill..and I think I'm going to watch the final episode after this..

Actually the real reason I'm writing this entry is because of a sudden realization..I was just sitting here watching OTH when suddenly I felt this sudden rush of sadness (at least I think so)..Wait, I'm quite certain it wasn't because of OTH (very sure)..In fact I think it's because of the korean drama (Goong S) that me n Wanee just finished watching earlier..Well not specifically because of the drama..but more to the idea that we've reached the ending of the drama..I realise that I'll get a bit sad whenever I'll reach the ending of any drama or series..I'm not really sure why..but it just happened..that's why sometimes after I've finished watching a drama it'll took me a while before I'm ready to watch another drama..weird huh...

In fact this doesn't only apply to watching the ending of any drama or series..I guess I do get sad when things end..things like school (sad because I know things will surely change after that), friendship, etc.. and sometimes it'll take me quit a while before I can actually move on..

But hey..I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one feeling this way..oh wait but this doesn't not really apply to lectures or classes..cos for those kinda things I really can't wait to reach the end..hahaha

oh well..I guess that's just me writing crap...my nature or maybe human nature..
I really hope that this feeling that I'm feeling right now will disappear after writing this..it's kinda terrible..n uncomfortable..

I get sad when...things come to an END..



that's it for now...need to start watching OTH now..

Thursday, June 14, 2007

HaNNaH's Life Report Part 2

and so..the winter break begins..
what have I been doing since..hrmmm let see..

1. Watched 'Pirates Of The Carribean 3' right after handed in the last assignment!! yay..what a relief..

2. Started the dramas n movies matrahon!! the best part of all...hahahaha

3. Went to Auburn..Thanks to Nisa, Ana, Syada, Pari, Tasha n Fatin for celebrating my birthday with Wanee..love the cake!!

4. Bought a new pair of sneakers..dun really have the intention to buy it.. but..hahahaha that's what happened when you be friended 'zalitun'

5. Oh wait..it's only been a couple of days since the first sem ended..what else could I have done in that short period of time..silly me..

guess that's enuf..

[JaeJoongie]

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Report on CBI progress...

Yes Yes Yes...I'm half way thru with my CBI..
okay maybe just 1/4 done..but hey..that's better than nothing..especially when I went to sleep early last nite and only woke up at 8.40 am this morning..

That eye mask really done me a good damage..Usually when I leave the lights on, I can easily wake up..but last nite (at around 10.30pm), for some unknown reason, I took the eye mask and put it on and lie on the bed. The next thing I knew, it was already 3.45 am..Suddenly I got frustrated because I was planning to start writing my CBI that nite..so since I accidently fell asleep n haven't start writing anything I continued to sleep..(tensen punya pasal)..

But hey..after I woke up this morning...thankfully I was not as frustrated as earlier so I managed to start writing my assignment..and now here I am half way thru..Hopefully I can get it done by tonite so I'll have some time to proof read it..


[Just a little something to cheer me up..n oh to make Wanee jealous..hahaha]

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

CBI oh CBI~~

CBI aka Content Based Instruction...yay...
this thing has been bothering me for quite sometime now..
I cried because of it..I got headache because of it..n oh yeah..sleepless nite..

CBI oh CBI..
why do u have to be so very difficult to understanf (well at least for me..i'm sure some of you find it easy to understand..especially those who have done their assignment!!)

Gosh...
I really am pathetic rite now, thanks to CBI!!
I have book bout CBI rite in front of me..but here I am writing an entry in my blog..
so much for worring about the assignment..

I really can't wait for the winter holidays..
When the time comes...so long CBI..so long school culture..
But until that time comes..here I am stuck with those two..

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Sometime, things just happened..

Yup..things happened..n sometime for no reason..Take today for example..
Me, Jaime n Wanee went to the library to print the LING340 assignment materials..(n so that was supposed to be the only reason for us to go out)..but suddenly..

"Weh, rasa cam nak makan OPORTO la," said Jaime.

And with that our crazy self came out..

"Boleh gak..cam lapar dah ni.." said Wanee.
"Ha..leh la aku nak beli daybreak n tutup-tutup mata." Hannah interrupted.
"Aku nak beli quilt cover la." Wanee continued.
And so we went to MC..I continued to blame Jaime for suggesting the idea..but still I continued walking with them until we reached MC..

First stop..OPORTO..
Me n Wanee bought ourselves bondi burger meal each..while Jaime, the one who came out with the OPORTO idea, bought kebab at ali baba..ok fine!!
But things continued to get worst especially when I asked Jaime for a slice of meat from the kebab..ok so nothing actually happened when I ate it..the bad thing happened after that..
"Ko nak beli ek kebab ni? dia ada yg chicken n kambing..yg ni daging kambing pny kebab.." Jaime said to Wanee..
I who was busy eating the chips startled..
"Eh jap..tu daging kambing ke??"
"Yelah..LAMB..yg bek bek tu..knapa ko xmkn ke??"
"TAK..KO KEJAM!!!!"
We were laughing when I suddenly remembered something..

"AKU MAKAN JAEJOONG!!"

Then we continued laughing even tho I still wasn't really comfortable with the idea of me eating lamb!!..Gosh..I really need to get rid of it..

So next stop..BIG W..
We were looking for Wanee's quilt cover..but the next thing I knew, I was lining up behind Wanee n ready to pay a quilt cover (for myself)..totally unplanned...
Then I went to buy..tutup-tutup mata (eye mask)..hopefully it cab help me to sleep..It really is hard to sleep with bright light coming thru the window at nite..but hopefully it won't bother me anymore afta dis..
oh yeah..I didn't buy daybreak in the end...forget to..


SHOOT look at the time.. I really need to stop writing this n continue reading for my assignment..

sign out
[HaNNaH]

Saturday, May 26, 2007

'Goodbye to Romance'

Yesterday has been and gone
Tomorrow will I find the sun
or will it rain
Everybody's having fun except me I'm the lonely one
I live in shame

I said goodbye to romance [yeah]
Goodbye to friends, I tell you
Goodbye to all the past
I guess that we'll meet,
we'll meet in the end

I've been the king, I've been the clown
now broken wings can't hold me down
I'm free again
The jester with the broken crown
It won't be me this time around
to love in vain

I said goodbye to romance [yeah]
Goodbye to friends, I tell you
Goodbye to all the past
I guess that we'll meet,
we'll meet in the end

and I feel the time is right although I know that you just might say to me
what you gonna do
what you gonna do

But I have to check this chance
goodbye to friends and to romance
And to all of you
And to all of you

Come on now!

I said goodbye to romance [yeah]
Goodbye to friends, I tell you
Goodbye to all the past
I guess that we'll meet,
we'll meet in the end

and the winter is looking fine
and I think the sun will shine again
and I feel I've cleaned my mind
all the past is left behind again

I said goodbye to romance [yeah]
goodbye to friends, I tell you
goodbye to all the past
I guess that we'll meet,
we'll meet in the end.

-Lisa Loeb-

Thursday, May 24, 2007

HaNNaH's Life Report part 1

So..it really has been a long time since I posted anything here..In fact it really has been a while since I last visited this page of mine..Gosh what have I been doing..To say I'm busy studying..I dun really think so considering I have nothing for all my three major assignment..So what actually have I been doing lately..huh..
Better list out some of the things that I did or happened to me in this last few weeks..

Things that have happened to ME...

~James Ruse Agricultural High School~
Yup..such a wonderful yet tiring experience..I went to this school with Wanee, Ana, Durra n Shim for our EDUC390 school observation. Yeah I had to wake up so very early in the morning, catch a couple of buses n end up getting dizzy for 8 straight days..juz imagine.. 8 DAYS!!!!!!!!
Even tho it was a bit tiring (yeah ended up sleeping like a pig everynite for 8 days), it's still a nice experience for me..It's not like you always have a chance to go to the school full with 'gifted' students.. n beside the librarian (Natasha) was so very nice to us..I mean like VERY NICE..huhuhu
Aside from memories, I've also ended up with other things from that school..things like sunburn (thanks to some of the teachers who asked us to stay in the field under the bright sun)..yeah..really frustrating..I wished I had my umbrella with me at that time..Oh yeah n another thing..I got blister..thanks to my shoes (the shoes that is especially bought for the school observation)..Gosh..I still hurt till now..

~Internet Problem~
AGAIN???
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? oh wait..or should I say WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS INTERNET?
Basically this is the reason why I haven't been visiting this page lately..I've been SPEED-LIMITED..Fine, I really understand if u wanted to SPEED-LIMITED me after I used all my download limits..But do u really have to SPEED-LIMITED me even after I recharge my account?? Is that even right???
Okay maybe it was my fault (not entirely I mean)..Maybe it's wrong for me for not being patient enough..I should've waited until my account expired before I recharge it..hehehe (let that be a reminder for me)..Gosh I really should learn to be patient..

~I'm Fat~
Yup..no mistake in that..Ever since I got back from NZ, I've only been to the gym twice..Imagine that..I've been here for more that a month now, but I've only been to the gym twice..now that's what I call absurd..silly me..no wonder I'm fat..or should I say a giant in my family n extended one...gosh..this is terrible..

~Getting Lazy~
It's getting worse...I have three majors assignments n I've only looked at one of it..I haven't even started at that one..Now just how am I supposed to start with the other two......HELP!!! I need a yeongwoong...This is ridiculous..How come I seem to have a lot of time watching dramas, movies, mv, listen to songs but not studying????this is so very wrong..This kinda things is not suppose to happen..NO NO NO...

WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I DOING??..I should be reading Lieberson & Curry's journal right now, but here I am complaining that I dun have time to study..Now just how absurd is that..geez..I better stop now...(I really wanted to read this journal, but it seems that my eyes won't co-operate..WHAT AM I TO DO??)

Just a little something..
[The James Team]

[Ana-Robin-Wanee-Durra-Natasha-Ted-Hannah]

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Yup..I'm 22 today~~

So, it has been 22 years since I've come to this world..Thanks mom (for ur hard work, if u know what i mean)..
A lot of things been seen n been done..
A lot of smiles, laughters n tears have been shared with people around me (and myself alone)..
A lot of memories have been collected..
Meeting new people n losing some people (a very fair play)..

But thank God, I haven't lost my way..
And today..since it's my birthday (9 May), I've decided to make some new resolutions..
I've called it..

~MY BIRTHDAY RESOLUTIONS~

Here they are:
1. To be a better person in general
2. To respect people (which is to care n to love them)
3. To appreciate and treasure family, friends, things, etc.
4. To not lose my temper easily
5. To never lose hope n faith in anything n everything
6. To be thankful with what I've got
7. To stop doing things that I might regret later in life
8. To not stop being who I am and never lose my waay
9. To be a good daughter, sister, niece, aunt, friends n etc
10. To lose some weights...

That's all that I can think of right now.
I purposely listed 10 things, but they're not in any particular order..

So, gosh I'm kinda dizzy right now and I dunno what to write anymore..
Oh yeah, before I forget, Thanks guys for singing birthday songs, the present, the card, the cake, the meals, the wishes n everything..thanks..really appreciate it...luv u guys..muah muah..

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Me? Crying over a Malay Movie??

Yup..I did..and I couldn't believe it myself..but as I said earlier..I DID!!

After a recommendation from Mieza n another recommendation from Jaime, I decided to look for the movie..n so last nite I streamed it in youtube, but it was already midnite n I was so very sleepy so I decided to just download it..

N this evening..when I was about to watch it myself, suddenly it occured to me

"THERE'S NO WAY ON EARTH I'M WATCHING A MALAY MOVIE ALONE, ESPECIALLY NOT THIS KINDA MOVIE"

So I called Pari n Wanee n asked them to if they're interested in watching..n thank GOD they were..So the 3 of us watched the movie in Wanee's room..

The first half of the movie was kinda hillarious..but it was the second half that made us scream, shout, yell n anything of that sort..fatin even wrote 'when housemates menggila' in her ym status, which actually referred to us..hahaha
But seriously, I was crying the whole time..n my eyes were swollen..Gosh, such a heartbreaking movie...

I know I'm alwayd crying watching any movies, but not Malay movie..However this time, I actually cried..Gosh it's actually kinda embarrassing to admit it..haha but who cares..moo seun..

Oh yeah..the movie is actually 'qabil kushry qabil igam' (not really sure bout the spelling tho)..

can't believe i'm actually writing an entry after watching that movie..
geez I'm a FREAK~~

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Student Life is Nothing but BUSY-ness

After two weeks of break from uni life, here I am again..back at uni..
And this time with heavier workloads..

Yesterday, me and my group (jaime, wanee n farah) had our LING312 presentation..which we only had one week to prepare. Thankfully everything went smooth (I guess, but maybe not that smooth considering I forgot to mention some of my points). It was kinda frustrating a bit. Imagine, we'd practiced like a gazilion of time, and it all ended in just less than an hour. Huh!!! But at least, it's done. Now I can concentrate in other stuff..

Okay.. so now I really should be focusing on the 'effective teaching' assignment. But weirdly, for some reasons I still have time to do other stuff (stuff that I shouldn't be doing..like facing laptop all day..huhu or facing wanee's laptop..hahaha). Enough is enough..

I really should start now. I only have a few days before this assignment is due..

HANNAH aja aja!! hwaiting~~


[HaNNaH]

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

NZ Roadtrip Report

7 April
- Arrived at Auckland International Airport. Aziati n Iyce came to pick me up.

8 April
- Went to Kawakawa for Quadbiking.
- I vormitted cos I wasn't feeling well. Then Iyce showed her drifting skill in the middle of the road.Haha..It was quite a scary experience, thank god we made it out alive..
- Went to Paihia for Mack Attack. Yup we've got to see dolphins in person
-I vormitted again..
- Went to Kaitaia (I was sleeping in the car on our way to the backpackers). Stayed at the backpackers lodge for a nite

9 April
- Went back to Auckland.
- We got a new car from the A2B car rental company cos we had some probs with the old car
- But then, the new car also had a prob. The car suddenly stopped in the middle of nowhere.
- The A2B person (Mark) came for a rescue. Guess how we went back to Auckland?? Yup on his truck. We were in the car on his truck!!
- Basically we spent most of the day with Mark

10 April
- Went to Waitomo for Black Water Rafting. Quite fun and challanging.
- Went straight to Rotorua and slept at Treks Backpackers. Rotorua smells like sulphur..

11 April
- Went for souvenir shopping around Rotorua
- Departed for Wellington

12 April
- Cooked lunch.
- Went to Satay Kajang for Dinner. I only ate Roti Banana!!
- Went to Aishah's house. I love the house

13 April
- Toured Welly and ate Malaysian Food
- Pipe leakage at Nada's. Tried to fix it with Iyce but we weren't born a plumber.

14 April
- The pipe was still leaking and flooded the house.
- Went to Taupo (I lost my bag here. My black bag full of souvenir)
- Slept at Berkenhoff Backpackers lodge

15 April
- Went to Rotorua
- Went to Agrodome to see some sheep show
- Went to do Zorb. Cool!!
- Went to Tauranga and slept at Harbourside Backpackers Logde

16 April
- Went to Matamata (Hobbiton) but didn't go to the LOTR movie set.
- Went back to Auckland
- Went to Mission Bay for some chocolate drink
- Toured Auckland uni..

17 April
- Cooked
- Souvenir Shopping in Auckland
- BBQ yay..

18 April
- Writing this report
- About to go back to Sydney (I'm so excited to go back but kinda sad cos have to part with NZ friends..bye Iyce)

Monday, April 09, 2007

NZ RoadTrip Update~~

Hello NZ...
It feels so good to be here..coming at a nu place n meeting some old friends..
Anyway let's review some of the activies that we had done in these past 2 days..

7 April - Finally arrived (at nite, kinda tiring)

8 April
- Departed to Kawakawa at 5am (More tiring than the first) and did some quad biking..Doing quad biking made me realise that I'm actually a slow learner..oh yeah it also left my right arm in pain..swollen~~
- Arrived at Paihia. Did some souvenir shopping n Mack Attack (yay finally we'd got to see some DOLPHINS~~
- Arrived at Kaitaia. Slept at Backpackers lodge there..sleeping soundly like a baby..Tired like hell..

9 April
- Went back to Auckland. Arrived at nite. Planning to convert my money to NZ dollar, but too bad all the money exchange centers were closed. So we just went to buy groceries n some brazilian meals for dinner. The food was so very nice..I'm FULL~~

10 April
It's not even 10 April yet..But tomorrow at 5am we're planning to go to waitamo to do some rafting~~n from there continue to go down to the south..

So basically that's it for these few days..
No photo to be uploaded since we still haven't even transferred it yet..
Till then~~

Saturday, April 07, 2007

After A Whole Nite of Hardwork

I can't take it anymore~~
I need to sleep..
After using my brain to its max level last nite, thanks to ling340, rite now I don't think I can even think straight. I'm dizzy, I'm sleepy and I'm tired..
How much longer will this torture continue??
I need some rest but sure I can't get any of it today..
I've just finished packing my stuff, an in a few more hours I'll be on plane flying to NZ..Gosh, is there a chance for me to get some rest??
HELP!!!!!!!!
I WANT TO SLEEP

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

2 of my FAV vids at the MOMENT

DBSK - BALLOONS


The Lion is such a cutie..oh n the sheep too!!
Oh Hero JaeJoong~~

AYUMI - CUTIE HONEY

Saturday, March 31, 2007

So I Bleed; And I Bleed; No More

OH SHOT!!
was my first reaction when I saw two of my fingers were covered with blood.

The story began like this..
I was watching korean drama 'Sweet 18' while lying on my bed. I switched off the light so as to concentrate watching the drama. Suddenly as I was watching, I felt like there was water in my left ear. I just wiped it with my fingers cos I thought it was just water from my 'wuduk' earlier. I ignored it for quite sometime. But then the water won't stop as it continued to come out. I started to get frustrated cos it really was disturbing. Then I accidently brought my fingers in front of the laptop and realised that my fingers were darker than usual. Quickly I switched on the light and saw my fingers were RED. In shock, I ran to the bathroom and saw there were BLOOD in my ear. So that was it. Oh yeah, there were BLOOD on my pillowcase too. I was kinda scared but compared to scare I was more frustrated. Imagine, I had to sleep with tissue in my ear until morning. It was so very UNCOMFORTABLE.. Thank GOD when I woke up this morning the bleeding had stopped.

That's all my story for today..

[HaNNaH]

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Never Listen 2 ur EVIL THOUGHTS

Last nite I called my mum and told her about my super nice experience of donating blood. To my surprise, she wasn't really happy about it. In fact she scolded me n lectured me throughout the conversation. She told me that my first time donating will also be my last..
I was kinda sad especially when I was planning to donate more blood in June..Suddenly it occured to me.. It's not like my mum is here, it's not like she's going to find out if I donated blood again. So If I didn't tell her, she wouldn't know..(evil..evil)

But this morning, I was checking my friendster message and suddenly I felt like reading one of the forwarded message..
BANG!! I was shot right between the eyes..
Here's the actual message..

Daripada Abdul Rahman Bin Samurah ra berkata,
Nabi Muhammad saw bersabda:"Sesungguhnya aku telah mengalami mimpi-mimpi yang menakjubkan pada malam aku sebelum di Israqkan........"
1. Aku telah melihat seorang dari umatku telah di datang oleh malaikatul maut dengan keadaan yg amat mengerunkan untuk mengambil nyawanya, maka malaikat itu terhalang perbuatannya itu disebabkan oleh KETAATAN DAN KEPATUHANNYA KEPADA KEDUA IBUBAPANYA.
2. Aku melihat seorang dari umatku telah disediakan azab kubur yang amat menyeksakan, diselamatkan oleh berkat WUDUKNYA YANG SEMPURNA.
3. Aku melihat seorang dari umatku sedang dikerumuni oleh syaitan-syaitan dan iblis-iblis lakhnatullah, maka ia diselamatkan dengan berkat ZIKIRNYA YANG TULUS IKHLAS kepada Allah.
4. Aku melihat bagaimana umatku diseret dengan rantai yang diperbuat daripada api neraka jahanam yang dimasukkan dari mulut dan dikeluarkan rantai tersebut ke duburnya oleh malaikat Ahzab,tetapi SOLATNYA YANG KHUSUK DAN TIDAK MENUNJUK-NUNJUK telah melepaskannya dari seksaan itu.
5. Aku melihat umatku ditimpa dahaga yang amat berat, setiap kali dia mendatangi satu telaga di halang dari meminumnya, ketika itu datanglah pahala PUASANYA YANG IKHLAS KEPADA ALLAH SWT memberi minum hingga ia merasa puas.
6. Aku melihat umatku cuba untuk mendekati kumpulan para nabi yang sedang duduk berkumpulan-kumpulan, setiap kali dia datang dia akan diusir, maka menjelmalah MANDI JUNUB DENGAN RUKUN YANG SEMPURNANYA sambil kekumpulanku seraya duduk disebelahku.
7. Aku melihat seorang dari umatku berada di dalam keadan gelap gelita di sekelilingnya, sedangkan dia sendiri di dalam keadaan binggung, maka datanglah pahala HAJI DAN UMRAHNYA YANG IKHLAS KEPADA ALLAH SWT lalu mengeluarkannya dari kegelapan kepada tempat yang terang - benderang.
8. Aku melihat umatku cuba berbicara dengan golongan orang mukmin tetapi mereka tidakpun membalas bicaranya, maka menjelmalah SIFAT SILATURRAHIMNYA DAN TIDAK SUKA BERMUSUH-MUSUHAN SESAMA UMATKU lalu menyeru kepada mereka agar menyambut bicaranya, lalu berbicara mereka dengannya.
9. Aku melihat umatku sedang menepis-nepis percikan api ke mukanya,maka segeralah menjelma pahala SEDEKAHNYA YANG IKHLAS KERANA ALLAH SWT lalu menabir muka dan kepalanya dari bahaya api tersebut.

Then I realise, I can't do it and I mustn't do it!!

Friday, March 23, 2007

Would u tell 'white lies' to donate blood??

~MY FIRST TIME FOR LIFE EXPERIENCE~
During Interview
"Do u take a lot of water this morning dear?"
"Yes"
"Oh, what have u eaten and drink today?"
"I drank more than a glass of water n had a few biscuits"
"Oh, I'm afraid that's not enough. You should drink at least 4 glasses of water. I don't think u should..."
"Actually I think I drank more than that. I think I drank more than 4 glasses."

On the donation bed
"Do you take a lot of water today?"
"Yup..More than a bottle"
"You should take more. Your blood is flowing quite slow"

I didn't mean to lie. But it just happened.
It was my first time ever donating blood n I was kinda excited (n nervous n anxious too).
The thought of not being able to donate blood because I didn't drink a lot of water scared me.
So, unintentionally I had to lie.
Other than that, I think donating blood is quite fun. No wonder Judy enjoy it so much. The needle was quite big but it didn't hurt much. And watching my blood flowing outside my body is kinda cool too..Haha (psycho)..

YEAH...I've DONATED BLOOD AT LAST

Anyway, that's not the main point. The main point is that I was able to see 'abang tongkat' again. He was standing not far from me when one of the nurses was trying to get a sample of my blood. Basically I wasn't really paying much attention to her when she poked a hole on my finger. I was just so busy looking at 'abang tongkat'..hahha dunno if I'd be able to see him after this..

[HaNNaH]

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I've Been TaGGeD

Here it goes..10 things I hate about you..juz kidding..

10 THINGS I'VE EATEN TODAY

So, from morning till midnight huh..

1. A Bit of Doritos
2. A Bowl of Grapes
3. A Bowl of Tomyum Noodle with 'telur dadar'
4. Hot Chocolate
5. Another Bowl of Tomyum Noodle with 'telur dadar' n 'ikan bilis'
6. Another Bowl of Grapes
7. Yougart

Oh shot..I still need 3 more things..
Does plain water count?

8, 9 n 10. Plain water..

My so called diet!! Yeah rite..


I wanna tag
Wanee!!

[HaNNaH]

Sunday, March 18, 2007

I'm Addicted...

Yeah..
IT'S OFFICIAL
I'M TOTALLY ADDICTED TO


PRINCE WHO TURNS INTO A FROG
I'm totally in love with the characters n the storyline..
It's so cute that I'll start to smile whenever I remember the story..
~~I miss DANG OU~~




Saturday, March 17, 2007

6 weird things bout HaNNaH~

So, I've been tagged huh..
Fine, I'll try to think of some weird things bot me. But I Bet it won't be hard..considering I, myself is a FREAK!!
Okay, so here's the list..

1. I find this one is the weirdest of all..The fact that I like to think a lot, but I'm not really sure what in the world am I thinking about. Most of the time I think I'm thinking about something, but I just dunno what is it..It's weird huh? Sometime, I even got a headache thinking of what I'm thinking..

2. This second one is kinda weird either..I really like to smile and laugh when I'm alone. I'm not saying that I'm nut..It's just that I couldn't stop myself from lauging n smiling whenever I 'm havng a happy thought especially when I recalled scenes from dramas n movies that I like..So next time when u see me smiling, giggling, laughing or grinning by myself, please just ignore it..

3. I also like to do stupid n silly stuff. But usually I'll only realise bout the silliness after I did that stupid things. And when I realise it, I always wishe that I could just go back in time n knocked myself hard on the head. I've so many silly stuff that I dun think I should mention here or else I'll be a laughing stock for the rest of my life..So, it's much better if I just keep it all to myself okay.

4. What else..Okay, another weird thing about me is that I like to just do nothing..I'll sit or maybe lie on my bed adn just do nothing..there's nothing much to describe about this one..let's just proceed to the next thing..

5. Some people may not find this weird, but my family does..The fact that I like to laugh and cry while watching dramas or movies as if I'm in it really freak them out..Okay I admit it, sometimes I do get carried away..But what can I do? That's just me being myself..

6. What else?? Is there anything that I haven't mentioned..Hurmmm let me think (I know what I'm thinking about this time okay)..I know..another weird thing about me is that, I like to be different. I dunno why but I've always tried to make myself different from others..I know I've never really succeeded but I'm gonna keep on trying..hahha

I'm done rite..I've listed 6..That should be enough..Gosh it really is a hard work to list those 6 things..I'm never gonna do it again..

Monday, March 12, 2007

I think I have an 'OLD MAN SYNDROME'

Sounds really funny isn't it since I'm actually a girl.
But I think I really have this syndrome.
Actually I learnt about this syndrome from a korean show. A symptom that shows one have this syndrome is one tends to get fat easily. Now that's me.
No matter what I do, I'll get fat very easily. That's just me. I can go on a diet for a few days and maybe lose some weight, but once I start eating normally, I'll get fat again..Funny isn't it. But that's just a fact that I must live with!

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I just dunno what i want!

I woke up one day and realise that I dunno what I want. For some reasons my mind went blank. I dunno what I want and I can't decide what I want.
Then it occured to me. Isn't that just how I live my everyday life for the past 21 years. YES. That's how my life is. I live day to day hoping for people to make a decision for me. Back in school, I used to have my friends to make up my mind for me. At home I have my parents and my siblings to do that for me. Yeah, I still remembered how they made me choose this course that I'm studying. Not to say that they forced me or anything back then (thank GOD..oh I miss you guys a lot). It's just that I really need to depend on other people. I dunno why, but I guess I'm just not confident enough to make my owh decision or maybe because I dun really trust myself. Kinda funny huh..But that's just who I am. So every now and then I will have to consult other people whenever facing any junctions in my life..

Okay enough of that crap..Let's just talk about other stuff like the Internet maybe.. Yeah, internet has been quite unstable lately..like right now I'm actually at the uni instead of my room.. Thanks to startech..I have to use the internet in the tepit centre. Not only that, I also have to postpone my download project. This is terrible. How am I suppose to live my life peacefully if this kinda thing happens to often? GEEZ........

Thursday, February 15, 2007

I'm starting to know myself

Fine..so before this I always have a certain expectation of myself. For example when I watched people dancing in TV or doing aerobic or whatsoever, I always think that I can easily do it too.
But lately I was proven wrong. After joining a few classes in gym, I realised that I'm such a terrible dancer, I have the worst hand-eye-leg coordination ever and I can't run, I easily get tired and bla bla bla.
There are just a lot of thing that I'm starting to learn about myself. Basically the image that I have for myself is really different from the real me.
It's kinda sad but I guess it's better to find out about it now than never..

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The Biggest LOSERS..

Watching the biggest loser makes me really feel like a LOSER (as in loser). It's not that I dun wanna lose weight, it's just that I love to eat VERY MUCH..

Right now I'm in the process of trying to be a loser (in my weight). We're starting THE BIGGEST LOSER program among ourselves. Right now we only have 3 participants but I think the number will grow very soon. Who knows being a loser requires a lot of hard work and sacrifices. I hate sacrifices the most. I hate to sacrifices my fav food, drinks, my sleep n everything. Hard works also kill me. Everyday I ended up with back pain n muscle pain all over the body. Thanks to all the work-outs.
Gosh FAT please go away as fast as u can.. I dun think I can stand this torture any longer!!
HELP..

Saturday, February 10, 2007

I Hurt My Back!!

Gosh..earlier this morning when I woke up I felt like screaming. I couldn't sit straight. My back was hurting me (in fact it still hurts now). At first I thought it maybe because I positioned myself wrongly when I sleep last nite. But then I remembered something.
AHA!! THE GYM.. it must be it..
I realised that the pain was actually caused by my visit to MQ gym for the first time yesterday. I was exercising after like years of resting and I think I've hurt some of my muscles or maybe my body still not use to it. All I know is that I'm still suffering because of that one visit.
Gosh why do I have to be so fat that I have to diet and now I think that I have to exercise.. Geez!!

Sunday, February 04, 2007

THE GIRL IN THE MIRROR; is it me?

I AM WHO I AM..

Well, that's just crap.
Have you ever wake up one morning and look in the mirror and see a complete stranger staring back at you. You couldn't recognise the face, the eyes, the lips, the body and maybe scar you got when you were little. Lately, I've been feeling weird about myself. I just couldn't recognise myself. Not to say I have an amnesia or anything of that sort. I just felt that way. I even realise that I couldn't recognise my own voice. It's really is weird. All these time I thought I know myself better than anyone else. But the truth is, I think people know me better than I am. I can't never describe myself. But I'm sure my friends and family can describe who I am (HOPEFULLY).

Now I realise, if we really want to understand world or other people, it is better for us to understand ourselves first or at least get to know oneself before really exploring what's out there.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Can mood really affect your dream?

I'm really sure about this. Again as usual I am assuming. But I kinda think that to a certain extent your mood before you go to bed really affect your dream. Well at least for me.

Last night I was not really in my bestest mood or in an easy word I was in my most horrible bad mood when I went to sleep. And yeah I had a nightmare. Imagine my hometown was attacked by a group of bad people who freely burned and killed every single person they saw. So I was running and hiding with my friends and family. I even witnessed some of my family members died along the way, but couldn't weep or do anything since I had to continue running. The bad people were so cruel that they continued to chase us who were still alive. I remembered buring my body in the sand and hid my head under the water. It was tragic but it was so scary. Hiding and running in order to continue living. It felt like forever. But thankfully for some reasons that horrible nightmare ended with a happy ending. The bad guys finally disappered. My family members who died earlier were actually alive and people were smiling again.

When I woke up this morning (more like this evening) I was a bit scared and relieved at the same time. Next time I'll make sure I'm not in a bad mood before I go to bed. There is no way I want to have such a horrifying dream again. For some reasons, usually when I smile myself to sleep I would have fun dream, weird but fun and I enjoyed to be in such a dream. So tonight I''l make sure I'll smile or happy before I go to bed.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I'm a PUPPET; and I'm SUFFOCATED

I talked to my friend the other day and here's what she said to me..

"Have you ever felt used? I dunno but lately I feel that way especially when I'm with my friends. For some reasons, when I'm with them I turn into someone esle. I just can't be myself.Maybe there are times that I actually enjoy spending time with them, but sometime I feel that I'm faking it. I smile when I don't feel like it, I laugh when I don't feel like it and all the other stuff that I don't feel like mentioning. No doubt they're my friends but there are times when I feel like my heart is burning in frustration. I hate feeling this way. I hate it because the feeling always makes me cry myself to sleep at night. I really wish I can just tell them how I feel, but it's really hard. It really is. But this feeling is torturing me. And sometimes I feel like I just want to hide myself in my room and not see anyone espiecially them. I sound like a bad person, am I? I dunno who else to tell. I really need to get this out of my chest. I really dunno what to do. I can't tell them how I feel but I'm hurting myself. I feel like I'm a puppet and I'm suffocated."

The quotation might sound a bit dramatic because I can't really rememeber the whole thing. But I think it's almost like what she said the other day.

Kinda sad when I heard it from her. Really pity her to get stuck in such situation. I really wish I can help her, but I just don't know how. I feel that, sometimes we just have to sacrifice ourselves for others.(This sucks).
Well there's only one thing I can say to you
"Continue crying yourself to sleep at night if that makes you feel better"

Gosh I really hope she doesn't read this or else she'll kill me!!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

MCR's BACK TOPPING MY LIST

Okay, maybe not #1 though. Cos that spot is reserved for Evanescence. So #2 should be fine.

Don't I just love MCR. Especially after I went to their concert at Luna Park with Jaime. It was actually my first time going to a concert (if i'm not mistaken; my memory is not that good). I don't really bother to listen to their songs before the concert (or prepare myself), but after I got there and after they started to perform, I wasn't able to sing along. Okay maybe I did sing along, but only to two or three songs. Other than that, I was just humming "lalalala...hmmhmmmhmmm" the whole time. It was kinda frustrated since I know the songs but I just couldn't remember the lyrics.
The concert was great and so did Gerard. He was so cool and kinda cute. Too bad they didn't allow us to bring camera in, so we couldn't even take any photos. Outside we were hoping they would have some kinda banner or anything that have MCR name on it. But again, too bad there wasn't any. So, there was no photo of MCR or even MCR banner at all. Kinda sad.
But nah, it's okay since the performance was really good. Gosh, after the concert, I feel like listening to all their songs again. So right now I have to search for them since I left the CD at home (silly me).
N yeah, I'm so in love with Gerard Way!!
Go GERARD!!
Go MCR!!
Go BLACK PARADE!!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Give it a CHANCE; Give it a TRY

I've learnt that GIVING A NEW STUFF A CHANCE WOULDN'T HURT A BIT..

I realised that I've always tried to be different from the mainstream. I know there's nothing wrong with being part of the mainstream, but somehow I feel that I just don't want to be identified as part of the mainstream.
Just imagine, like a week or so ago I found it is weird to see Fatin cheering while watching Tennis Cup in Melbourne (I don't really know the name. Oh wait, is it Australian Open??). So, whenever I saw her in front of the TV, I was just like "ooohhh!" nodded my head and went straight back to my room. Later I realised the others were also watching the same thing. And then suddenly, I was one of them. I was just sitting in front of the TV one day and I was already cheering watching whosoever playing tennis at that time. Then I noticed I started to know the player names such as NADAL, FEDERER, etc. The names that I've never even heard before. But of course I know and supported RODDICK (to bad he lost to Federer. But it's ok tho, since Federer plays really well). Aside from the names, I also learned how they counted the points (I've never really bothered about this kinda thing before). Now I find this Australian Cup (still not sure bout the name) kinda interesting and I wouldn't mind spending my time sitting on the couch and watched them all day (ok maybe not all day. usually I only like to watch when a familiar face is playing).
So basically what I'm trying to say is that, giving things a chance wouldn't hurt. In fact, you might like it..Like me.

Talking about chance also remind me of another thing.
Remember HEART (the Indon movie). Before this, I've heard about this movie everywhere. That's not enough, I even had to listen to the OST from Pari's room (she even sang the OST in front of me). But realising that lots of people like this movie, again I refuse to give it a chance. I didn't want to listen to people talking about this movie and I even ran out of Pari's room when she sang the OST.
However, the other night, Jaime and I were watching a DVD when suddenly there was some technical problem with the DVD. So we started to listen and watch some songs and MVs in Jaime's laptop. One of the MVs was the Heart's OST. I was surprised to see the MV because it was really or totally different from what I expected.
I was like "Is this a teenage movie?". And Jaime was like "Daa..Those singers are the actors. You didn't know??". And I was like "NO way!! I thought it is the Ari Wibowo (not really sure bout the spelling) generation kinda movie.
And guess what?? Now I can't wait to watch the movie!!

I can't believe I was to stubborn back then.
See what I mean when I say
GIVING A CHANCE WOULDN'T HURT!
or maybe you couldn't really see, cos rite now all of a sudden I'm not really sure what I'm talking about..

Monday, January 22, 2007

It's A Little Bit Different For Everyone

Everythings that happened lately have made me realise how differently people live their lives. Okay, this really doesn't sound like me.

But it's just that, yesterday I had problem with my laptop and I decided to just reformat it. Though it was one of the things that I hate to do, still I have to do it since there was just some corrupted files in it that disturbed my laptop from functioning normally. But then when I reformatted the thingy, thing started to go wrong. And the thing that I scared the most finally happened. And yes, my hard drive crash. Then I started to become scared. I wanted to cry as my body started to shiver (I usually started to shiver when I get scared or really frustrated). But then I remembered something. Something that someone used to say to me.

"Allah tidak akan menguji seseorang itu dengan sesuatu ujian melainkan dia mampu untuk menghadapi ujian tersebut"

Actually it was Jaime who told me that. Don't really remember the whole things but it was something like that.

Then after recalling those magic words, I hit my forehead. I decided not to cry and I didn't shiver. I realised that "I CAN FACE THIS" "AKU MASIH MAMPU!". So, that's it. The next morning, I went to MC to look for a new hard drive or to check for the price. But i didn't buy it straight away.

Today, I went to MC again with my super heavy laptop and went straight to 'Discount In' - the computer shop. I bought the new hard drive and asked the guy there to change it for me. For a moment there, I felt like I was the one working at the shop since I told the guy how to do almost everything. I told him where to put the hard drive, how to put it adn even how to reformat the thing. Gosh, I felt like laughing, but I didn't.hehe.

Anywhere, I'm glad the laptop is working fine now. Actually I just assumed that it was the hard drive problem, but thankfully I was right.
So I guess, since I like this kinda thing (I mean computers not hard drive prob) this is one of my challenge..different people with different interest maybe facing a different thing.So basically I'm crapping..HAHAHA..I'm really not good at writing this kinda thing..shot..

Oh yeah..Our nu year (hijrah) resolution is "menyucikan hati!!!"..nak jadi org yg baik hati!! huhuhu..

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

What would U do if U're ME?

I'm not PERFECT, and I know that..
And I come to believe that nobody does..

I'm made tons of mistake, and I regret for doing each one of them..
Though there are some mistakes that I regret doing, but still I couldn't help but to do it over n over again..
And it makes me really sad n hate myself sometimes..

I know other people would feel the way too (hopefully)..
They make mistake n regret it..n wish to never do it again..
Sometimes they succeed n sometimes they're just not..

Well,
Some of the people who are close to me often confessed their wrongdoing to me..
And most of the time, I dunno what to do except give them a piece of my mind (tho I'm really bad at this)
I've never really come up with a good advice, ever..
The things that often came out of my mind were 'SHOT', 'WHAT WERE U THINKING?', 'R U CRAZY?', 'R U SURE?', 'WEI', 'HOW COULD U?'..etc..
See, I'm a good listener, but never a good adviser..

Gosh,
If u were me, what would u do? or what would u say?
If someone close to you tell u things that u know for sure is wrong, obviously wrong..
Things like, well I dun think I should mention the example here..
But wrong things..u know..
What would u do?
How would u feel?

I really wanted to tell those people that what they've done is BAD..like REALLY BAD
and I did and they also knew it..
But somehow I don't think its enough..n for some reason, I don't think they really understand how I feel about it..
and it makes me really SAD n MAD..
As someone close to them, I feel like I can do more..
Especially when they trusted me to keep everything as a SECRET..
'PROMISE ME U WON'T TELL ANYONE!!'
See, I just dunno what to do?
Gosh, this is really hard..
It's not like I dun want to help them..
I want to..
But I just dunno HOW..

LIFE IS NOT EASY
IT IS NEVER EASY!!